Yesterday was a pretty bad day for me as it was my nephews birthday who is dead now. I miss him so much and I still can not get over his suicide. I have been pretty much in a slump ever since. His mother and I are twins, we shared the same room and one day when she was 15, a baby came into our room. I right away took to him like his own mother should have, but she did not have any mothering instinct , people always say if you could do it all again would you ? I would change many things if I knew it would end like this. It is the worst pain you can ever have.