Give me a break -- the Internet Exploder joke is friggin' old. And Windows being a 'fucked up' operating system is simply due to people not installing the updates that they are supposed to.

Internet Explorer is just fine, and there's nothing wrong with Windows. Like any piece of equipment, you simply need to keep it tuned up.

That being said, due to Sun and Microsoft having licensing problems, there is no Java included for certain versions of windows. The following link provides a file that you can save, run, and will then have an older version of Java installed (the MS Java library runs much faster and smoother, IMO).

Reboot.

Once you've rebooted, go to microsoft.com and go to windows update, and update your version of java through there.

At that point in time you should be all set. No need to install new web browsers or java consoles or any of that junk.