I'm sure you'd know this more than anyone, but what's it like to be a registered sex offender? I mean, are you allowed less than 400 feet away from a public school? Can you talk to your younger relatives without them thinking you're going to molest the shit out of them?

Shit... It must be REALLY hard just to take public transportation with the boner that you've failed to hide so horribly. People from other countries probably beat the shit out of you when they see the tent popping horizontally out of your pants. You seriously need help, dude.